Week 44 - 45 /2026
26th Oct to 8th Nov 2026
last week went mostly in tweaking this website and spending some time with team at office.
I wanted to revamp this website for long time, I wanted to add pages called philosophy, educator, artist, journey.. making my educational philosophy at core of my practice.
explaining philosophy and my work is complex so I wanted some graphical representation, so I tried claude. I made fancy pages with lots of java script. It was looking nice but after a point I was thinking that it is going out of my hand. I wanted something simple - markdown based back. so again spent hours tweaking hugo bearcub theme and finally you can see what I have made.
Some screen shots of my experiments :
Few inspirations I was looking while making :
I am going through weird phase of life. Feeling kind of burnt out. I am not finding any meaning in my work and life in general now days. Feeling anxious, zoned out, grumpy/angry quickly and very easily. sometimes I feel like crying without any reason. (while listening to music mostly)
This might be happening because of home conflicts and/or over work during past many years. Running after establishing my self as an educator, creating alternative career path, proving myself to family and all the employers..I am doing jobs since I was 18, for the last 13 years…
I am slowly loosing my creative soul / tenderness / curiosity / wonder and becoming like dead person. I think I need healing. I need to be gentle on myself.
From tomorrow (6th Nov 2026) diwali holidays are starting. N is going to Kanpur to meet her family. I will be here, my goal for next 10 days -
- Work on kharai camel story, prepare puppet show for rewilding storytelling fellowship
- everyday go for morning walk, write - paint - eat breakfast - lunch - dinner (this is possible if I do not pick my mobile as first thing in the morning)
- I will keep tweaking this website, adding new pages, posts and weekly notes. I have todo list specifically for the website. Whenever I feel crisis in my life, whenever I feel meaningless I come back to my website, edit it. It gives me sense of control, sense of achievement, it feels like homecoming.
“Jab clarity na mile tab picture ko zoom in ki jagah zoom out kar ke dekhna chahiye..” coming back to my website means coming back to my body of work, my narrative of work - life, my identity.. it gives me space to reflect, rebuild with hope.
PS : Recently I discovered debjit’s work and post called Website Design as Existential Crisis.
BTW in this absurd world I still have some places, things and moments which I love to go back
Made one webpage dedicated to Martin Buber’s educational philosophy through my art work [Work in progress | Updated on 6th Nov 2026]
Things, Places and Moments I love
