What am I doing now?
I live in Ahmadabad, India with my partner Nidhi. As an educator I work with children, young adults, teachers, learning facilitators, researchers on daily basis. Apart from that I write, I paint, some time I perform. I love writing weekly notes and blog posts here.
Nothing make sense
I am going through weird phase of life. Feeling kind of burnt out. I am not finding any meaning in my work and life in general now days. Feeling anxious, zoned out, grumpy/angry quickly and very easily. sometimes I feel like crying without any reason. (while listening to music mostly)
This might be happening because of home conflicts and/or over work during past many years. Running after establishing my self as an educator, creating alternative career path, proving myself to family and all the employers..I am doing jobs since I was 18, for the last 13 years…
I am slowly loosing my creative soul / tenderness / curiosity / wonder and becoming like dead person. I think I need healing. I need to be gentle on myself.
From tomorrow (6th Nov 2026) diwali holidays are starting. N is going to Kanpur to meet her family. I will be here, my goal for next 10 days -
- Work on kharai camel story, prepare puppet show for rewilding storytelling fellowship
- everyday go for morning walk, write - paint - eat breakfast - lunch - dinner (this is possible if I do not pick my mobile as first thing in the morning)
- I will keep tweaking this website, adding new pages, posts and weekly notes. I have todo list specifically for the website. (PS : whenever I feel crisis in my life, whenever I feel meaningless I come back to my website, edit it. It gives me sense of control, sense of achievement, it feels like homecoming).
“Jab clarity na mile tab picture ko zoom in ki jagah zoom out kar ke dekhna chahiye..” coming back to my website means coming back to my body of work, my narrative of work - life, my identity.. it gives me space to reflect, rebuild with hope.
PS : Recently I discovered debjit’s work and post called Website Design as Existential Crisis.
Little things
BTW in this absurd world I still have some places, things and moments which I love to go back
Check out two pages I have made recently :
- Sketchbook [My doodles, sketches, painting, raw notes from my notebook]
- little things [page with all small the things, places, moments I love]
- Made one webpage dedicated to Martin Buber’s educational philosophy through my art work [Work in progress | Updated on 6th Nov 2026]
Work
(Full time engagement)
Core team member / TIDE Foundation, Ahmadabad
we are a group of passionate educators, researchers & volunteers facilitating transformational learning experiences with children and young adults grounded in philosophy of - ‘Education for Harmony’.
(Side Projects)
- Gujarati children literature magazine - Patrngo (Team : Mihir, Bansi)
- Puppet show on Kharai Camel - Rewilding storytelling fellowship
I am trying to minimize my side projects and converting / merging all with my full-time work. Core is ‘Education for harmony’ through PBL, Nature edu, Theater, Children literature (tools)
Inspiration: nownownow.com | last updated on 8th Nov 2026